I tell myself I can eat whatever I want..
In the end I’m still counting the calories and hating myself for being so weak.
My family talks so much shit about me only wanting to drink purified water and how I should just drink from the tap, but every time I buy a case of water they drink it all.
I barely remember anything other than throwing up, it sucked but I was so exited to get all the food I ate out of my stomach. Is that bad ?
Oh and I drunk texted my therapist.. That wasn’t too good.
I was going through old pictures from last year as motivation to continuing losing weight. I was thin, my collar bones stuck out, I had a flat stomach, I was somewhat happy. My friends, family, and coaches were all very concerned and kept telling me I was too skinny and needed to eat more. So I decided to go back to see what my lowest weight was. (I was really into tracking everything.) They were all freaking out over 112lbs ! Like wtf ? That’s not even close to skinny for me anymore and they were actually threatening me with hospitalization when I weighed that much.